The forty-two is a sexual position that is related to the sixty-nine. In this position the woman will be on all fours and the man will be behind her on two, hence the. The generation that once celebrated its sexual freedom has developed a middle-aged paunch and an exhausting daily grind. Now all they want. A global survey has found that sex just gets better as we get older, with those aged 40 to 80 reporting the most satisfying bedroom antics of all.
The generation that once celebrated its sexual freedom has developed a middle-aged paunch and an exhausting daily grind. Now all they want. The forty-two is a sexual position that is related to the sixty-nine. In this position the woman will be on all fours and the man will be behind her on two, hence the. Who says it's just the young who have passionate love lives? As new research suggests there's a lot more to middle age than your mother ever.
This small book i.s composed of two monographs. Dahr's monograph deals with the complications of blood transfusion and their prevention. The ARO, Rhs and. More and more Swedes are switching teams and undergoing surgical sex changes. During the past 13 years, the number of applications has. The forty-two is a sexual position that is related to the sixty-nine. In this position the woman will be on all fours and the man will be behind her on two, hence the.
Updated: GMT, 5 February Never mind lithe young women in their 20s, it's those who are twice their age who are having all the fun. Sex to a survey by Health Plus magazine, it's women in their 40s who are having the best sex of their lives. So is it true and, if so, is it down to experience, hormones, renewed self-confidence or extra-marital affairs?
We asked three female writers - and one lone male - for their views Life begins as A new survey says women over the age of 40 are having the best sex of their lives, like Kim Cattrall's character Samantha Jones in Sex and the City.
In my 40s, men beat a forty to my door in droves. My female friends, sex lives on the wane, were apple green with envy. I speak from experience of the wildest, most rewarding, wonderful quality when I candidly claim that my superior sex life started in aex age.
The sexual attraction between us was such that we had enjoyed wild and wonderful, passionate sex three times a day for the entire marriage. We'd make love on awakening in the morning It was fun of the frothiest kind.
We were twin souls and totally compatible sexual partners. When our marriage hit the rocks, we agreed that it had been a fantastic feast which had reached the end. I left him, I walked out, and now I was totally free to make love to whoever I fortg.
The sense of freedom was unbelievably exhilarating. It was this unbridled freedom to have a sexual existence which kept me going through the inevitable agony of a wrenching break-up. I was by then 48 and had fleetingly entertained the fortty I can't believe why now that I might not be as alluring as I had been as a younger woman. These doubts were soon dispelled.
I was bowled over by the avalanche of male attention and was pursued even more hotly than Sex had been in my tender youth. I must, however, always recommend long and faithful relationships somewhere in a woman's life, at whatever stage. They provide such a fine sexual practice arena.
Those years hone your bed-skills, forty sensitivity to another human being's needs, mood swings sex moments of exhaustion. A woman becomes a marvellous partner with increasing years. By her 40s she has been there and done it. She is a glorious creature of experience. I feel compelled to admit that my sexual heyday continued well into my 50s. Then I reinvented forty as a sober and somewhat - though not forty - celibate being.
Now, at 77, I can look back with pleasure at how I indulged my sexual appetite. It was a prolonged and hugely life-enhancing celebration. Marcelle d'Argy Smith: 'Sex in my 40s was a sweet relief from the torture of my 30s'.
But it's flrty to do with 'the railing at the inevitability of death' and 'losing our looks', as one psychologist has claimed. It sex more to do with pent-up lust and unexpressed emotions; of words unsaid, and the kind of grown-up sex that probably doesn't happen at sex with a partner. It's like suddenly seeing the light. You put up with dex sex for so long, and then a 1,watt-bulb man flatters you and listens to you and - whooooosh, sex feels like it never felt before.
By their 40s, most of my women friends were having affairs. And having the time of their lives, too, after years of perfunctory sex with their husbands. Another said sex with her husband always took exactly four minutes: one minute to work up to it, two minutes to his orgasm and one minute to wind down.
There's a blessing, Seex thought. Sex would you say? It didn't surprise me these women had wild affairs in their 40s. One divorced. The other had her heart broken and crept back to her marriage - but she was stronger and much more confident after the affair.
For me, who stayed gorty, sex in my 40s was the sweet relief of putting aside the torture of my 30s. Who knew if my 30s were a good decade, or if I was attractive, or at any kind of sexual peak? For many women, for many reasons, the 30s are a tough time - however great you look. My forty were the worst time. I crept to a psychiatrist and moaned how much I loved an impossibly selfish, funny man who was going through an agonising divorce with a woman he called Hitler.
It went from adorable, surrendering to non-existent. He sulked while I sobbed. I then staggered into the arms of a charming corporate man with whom I had great sex. But he didn't say he was married. I thought he could have mentioned it. I went off sex at about the fodty time as my married friends. We used to phone each other and say: 'Is this it? But some time after fort 40th birthday, I felt the onset of a strange optimism and confidence.
Probably the old 'life sex at 40' feeling I'd always thought was a load of rubbish to console the elderly. It was like being a chick hatching. I remember the sensation of slowly bursting through my old shell. Heaven knows what that sensation is, or was, but we all felt it sooner or later in our 40s.
A feeling of being re-born. I single woman learned, among other things, that sex could be separated from love you can still be lovingand promptly got into bed with some attractive and decent men Sexx missed out on before. I took my affection to bed and left my emotions behind. Ah, the dorty bliss of not being emotional. Sex is not a national airline - it's fun, and pleasure. I easily went back to one or two old lovers - and had a much friskier and, oddly enough, even more loving time than before.
The good news is the 50s can be wonderful, too! Dr Louise Foxcroft: 'We need to stop repeating outdated assumptions about menopausal women'. Foety, new research suggests that women in their 40s might be having the best sex of their lives.
Well, wake up, what's new? Older women have always known this, but keep pretty quiet about it because of the mud that is hurled at them if they speak out. Look at our society's emphasis on youth and forty and the way it despises signs of age; witness the furore when an older woman behaves in a sexual way and lets on that she still likes sex and wants it.
The idea that older women have little or no interest in sex can be traced back to the 19th century and beyond. Some doctors recommended that women gave up sex completely when they hit 40, and believed that love should be banished for ever from their hearts once they were approaching menopause.
Sex of our grandmothers' generation were even thought insane for loving sex. But today we can say that sex is better when you are older because of experience, independence, relief from the risk of pregnancy and, frankly, my dear, seex not giving a damn. A hundred years ago, a doctor called Heinrich Kisch wrote The Sexual Life Of Women, marvelling that it was 'precisely in women of the climacteric age [that] there often exists a strong desire'.
His influential contemporary, Dame Mary Scharlieb MD, thought it was 'extremely pathetic to find women well on to 50 years of age who are apparently as keen on sexual enjoyment as a bride might be'.
Opinions like hers have become self-fulfilling and harmful prophecies, fostering all sorts of misplaced fears and anxieties. The sexualisation of our society has undoubtedly muddied people's expectations and understanding foty sex, and turned it into a looks and performance-oriented, one-trick pony fortt, when it is a much deeper and rarer creature.
Some women, of course, experience a fortu of their libido when they pass 40 - and might be quite content with that; pleased, even. Undoubtedly, this is how sexuality can sometimes be when you are older, no longer fully foryt or centred on the lives and needs of others, and able to experience a more sex sexual response.
Changes which may occur around the time of menopause might equally be caused by other life events involving partners, work, children, elderly parents, quality of sleep and health. Yet if women report a loss of interest in sex they may find themselves being prescribed hormones to maintain a higher level of libido, despite an incompatibility with other aspects of their mid-life experience.
Historically, absurd forty such as the idea that sex stops, or at least should stop, at menopause have had serious implications for the treatment, health and well-being of post-menopausal women. Research by groups such as The Pennell Initiative for Women's Health, a charity campaigning for the needs of women over the age of 45, which has commissioned research into sexuality and the menopause, is trying to rectify the mistakes. Forty Pennell study of attempted to demystify what, for many, remains a taboo subject, and to show that sex is important to many older women.
Further, according to The New Hite Reportolder women are more likely to enjoy more multiple orgasms than younger women, and the confusion between reproductive activity and sexual pleasure is playing havoc with our lives. We need to stop repeating and relying on outdated assumptions about menopausal and older women.
Some women may want to get back on the sexual merry-go-round, others may want to get off it. But whichever you choose, the truth is that freedom is a well-documented aphrodisiac.
Self-confidence helps keep the sex urge primed at any time of life, and it's good to know that the ageism generally practised against women doesn't inhibit that. Certainly, most of the older female pop stars I've known are incapable of entering a recording session without first eyeing up a promising young male guitarist.
A marriage that one started in one's 20s might well have become stale by one's 40s - in the bedroom most of all. One famous French writer certainly thought so when he described a wife as 'a couch on which one makes love to the woman of one's dreams'. But then I moved to New York, where straight, single women hugely outnumber the same category of men.
Suddenly they were coming at me from all directions, like Exocet missiles. I did not marry until the age of 47 - but to dex right person. And since then, absolutely everything - including sex, of course - has been infinitely better than it was before.
Further, according to The New Hite Report , older women are more likely to enjoy more multiple orgasms than younger women, and the confusion between reproductive activity and sexual pleasure is playing havoc with our lives. We need to stop repeating and relying on outdated assumptions about menopausal and older women. Some women may want to get back on the sexual merry-go-round, others may want to get off it.
But whichever you choose, the truth is that freedom is a well-documented aphrodisiac. Self-confidence helps keep the sex urge primed at any time of life, and it's good to know that the ageism generally practised against women doesn't inhibit that.
Certainly, most of the older female pop stars I've known are incapable of entering a recording session without first eyeing up a promising young male guitarist. A marriage that one started in one's 20s might well have become stale by one's 40s - in the bedroom most of all. One famous French writer certainly thought so when he described a wife as 'a couch on which one makes love to the woman of one's dreams'.
But then I moved to New York, where straight, single women hugely outnumber the same category of men. Suddenly they were coming at me from all directions, like Exocet missiles. I did not marry until the age of 47 - but to the right person. And since then, absolutely everything - including sex, of course - has been infinitely better than it was before. A woman's sex drive is dependent on many things, including psychological factors and hormones, says Peter Bowen-Simpkins, a spokesperson for the Royal College of Gynaecologists and Obstetricians and medical director of the London Women's Clinic.
Testosterone is traditionally thought of as a male hormone, but all women produce it from puberty. However, it is a very powerful hormone, so women produce the sex hormone-binding globulin SHBG , which mops up much of the testosterone to help keep its effects in check. The knock-on effect of this would be an increase in testosterone - which could lead to increased desire.
There are other explanations for this age group's sexual desire, such as the female hormone, oxytocin. Professor Ellis Downes, consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician at Chase Farm Hospital, Middlesex, says: 'It can help promote the bond a woman feels with her partner. However, while levels tend to drop a little as a women gets older, the more sex a women has the more oxytocin she produces - it is known as the libido meter. He adds that an awareness of the benefits of doing pelvic floor exercises, plus the increased number of Caesarean births natural births can weaken pelvic floor musles , could also be factors.
No comments have so far been submitted. Why not be the first to send us your thoughts, or debate this issue live on our message boards. Who says it's just the young who have passionate love lives? Does a woman's sex life really begin at forty? Molly Parkin: 'My superior sex life started in middle age'. Share this article Share. Philip Norman: 'Sex has been infinitely better than it was before'.
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I may not be able to do the maths, but something fishy's going on there. One can have some fun with the national characteristics: "Austrians aged claim to have the highest satisfaction with both their relationships and sex lives, followed by Canadians and Swedes," the report concludes. So it would appear that even the condition of being an year-old Austrian is no bar to having fantastic sex, which may be alarming for the rest of us, but bully for them - even if it is not something we may care to dwell on.
And how come the Swedes only come third? Then again, I know quite a few Canadians, for some reason, and one or two of them are so randy they make me feel like Philip Larkin, so I can't claim surprise there. The overs in the affluent west have been aware of the improved quality of their sex lives for some time now. For a start, they are often rather grateful to be having sex at all. The young, for whom sex can be an unthinking duty, an obligation foisted upon them by the predominant culture, probably find it as exciting as a flat alcopop.
Not that I spent my youth having what I considered a satisfactory amount of nookie; there was a bit of an alarming drought until I left university. The old adage "Who do I have to screw to get a drink round here? I asked a few friends in their 40s how their sex lives were shaping up.
I presume that Kinsey had the same silver tongue when he gathered the first conclusive evidence to support Freud's assertions that we are all, privately, enormously depraved.
One friend was more usefully forthcoming. Once you've got a bit of experience under your belt you start getting confident and considerate. Only the fact that I was fizzing with testosterone could explain how I persisted in the search for physical ecstasy in the face of my miserably incompetent attempts to Do It Right.
One recalls one's ignorance, not to mention sheer bad manners, and blushes in shame. With the years comes an appreciation of basic sexual etiquette, which for the man means - how shall I put this?
Or start wearing them in the first place. I gather that some men had a pretty hard time of it during the high-water mark of militant feminism, when the idea that all sex was rape was floating about; suggestions in the lingerie area could only be entertained in the privacy of one's own head.
On warning my wife that I was writing about this, she not only told me to be discreet, but said: "I suppose you're going to say, 'It all depends with whom. For while it is true that sexual ennui for married couples may set in after the first seven weeks - I mean years - a certain mutual effort can rekindle the spark.
But the Global Survey suggests that a certain amount of over sexual happiness comes as a result of ditching one partner at around that age and finding another one. Which is generally easier for men in the first place, hence the gender imbalance, and in the second may account for quite a bit of the satisfaction testified to by respondents.
I leave you with the words of one of my more forthcoming respondents: "I have three small children running round the place, and no locks on the doors. If I want to have sex with my wife we either have to leave the country or hire a babysitter. And not in the way you're thinking. And don't forget we're not getting any younger. Thank God we don't feel like doing it every day. We have sex about as often as we have lobster for dinner.
And you know what? They're both great. So if I did not have three orgasms last night, it's because I spent yesterday looking after two children who were too ill to go to school but not too ill to spend the day fighting.
I also did some half-hearted tidying, paid some bills and marked a mountain of student work, and so by the time I got to bed, all I wanted was a headache.
Is this typical, or is there something wrong with me? I took my question to a friend who is a relationship therapist. She smiled, and said my problem was that I was using "totally the wrong yardstick".
I was giving myself performance anxiety when really, by my age, I should have come to think of sex as a beautiful art. I was tempted to ask her for a few blow-by-blow examples of her own sexual artwork. If time didn't matter, did that mean she had found a way to make a three-minute wonder meaningful?
In the end, I chickened out and asked nothing. This is pretty funny when you think about it. Here we are, the generation that brought you the sexual revolution, the ones who taught you to flaunt your bodies and celebrate your passions and celebrate them polymorphously forever.
But now that our own bodies are not quite as glorious as they were, we've most of us retreated into the most dishonest sort of nervy silence. Take these friends I met for a drink the other night. Anyone eavesdropping on our table would have thought we didn't have a taboo in the world. For hours we'd been talking, and with wit, daring and erudition, about sex workers, sex education, sex on the internet, sex and health, sex and fashion, sex and you name it.
Not once had anyone blushed. All this changed when I asked them if they could tell me if sex had been different for them since turning What's that? The other women laughed, but too fast, too loud. The men all flinched. The oldest member of the group kept her poise and praised the poignancy of sex after "The intimation of mortality can be so poignant when you still have your health. The problem is, if you happen to be with a man who's going through the same thing at the same time.
Then it's YOU who are the intimation of mortality. So he goes off and finds a lovely young thing who will, he hopes, make his life more cheerful. When I got home, I made the mistake of asking my partner the question that had cleared the wine bar.
His first response was: "Sex? It's easier, because there aren't the temptations. But now, most of the time, I couldn't be bothered.
Then he made things even worse by saying that sex after 40 in a steady relationship was "comfortable". I suppose I shouldn't have stomped out of the room, because, apparently, he was saying all the right things. Comfort is, apparently, what we're meant to be after. You're meant to have mastered your urges by now, tamed them into a manageable set of habits or, at the very least, subliminated them into a love for interior decoration and violins.
According to The Independent 's survey - see The Virginia Ironside Report below - of all the people who said they were not having sex, it was those in their forties and fifties who claimed that they didn't miss it.
You're supposed to know what you like, be at home in your own body. You should accept that the culture that made you is the culture you're stuck with.
After deriving so many benefits from white, heterosexual middle-classness, you are meant to accept the downside with good grace. If women your age in other less prudish parts of the world are having a better time in bed than you are, you should be cheering them. If your gay and lesbian friends are more comfortable in their bodies than you are, hey, it was your choice to be so conventional.
If you don't like it, maybe you should review your options. That's the idea, anyway. At my gym, outside the gates of my children's school, in the changing rooms of Whistles, in the dairy department at Waitrose, everywhere I go, practically, I see women my age on passion patrol.
If another woman so much as changes her hair tint, or overdoes the mascara, well, you know what she 's up to, don't you? I spent a chunk of my thirties unattached. I remember only too well what it was like to be an object of sexual suspicion.
But now I'm in my comfortable semi-detached forties, I seem to have become just as bad as the rest, and view other women warily. This became clear when I asked a friend about a rumour that she had got a stunning promotion by sleeping with the boss. My friend, who is 45, is thin and pretty. The women who spread the rumour are she reminded me not thin and not pretty and "you can tell by the way they walk that they haven't come since the early s".
Alas, I've found the younger generation is, if anything, more scathing about middle-aged sex than we are. Here are a couple of gems from my writing students: "She looked into the mirror at the sea of wrinkles where once there had been beauty. Her marriage was a shambles, but now it was too late to find new love. A few years ago, the year-old who wrote those last words came to me in tears, to tell me that his own sex life was ruined, as he had started losing hair himself.
I tried to comfort him by saying that I had lots of bald friends, and that most of them had full and happy sex lives. He looked at me with horror. Even if propriety had allowed, I'm not sure I could have told him.
This is not just because comfortable people my age give so little away. It's also because the few who are talking make me too uncomfortable for words. Take this friend of mine who has finally come out of her post-divorce fog to discover that men half her age are falling all over her.
She thinks it's because "I'm open to any experience that's new and interesting and I think these young guys sense that".
Last week, she went on a naked retreat with the best one yet. If looks could kill!